What do the World Cup, Brussels sprouts, walking the dog and work reports have in common? More than you might think…

I suspect there will be thousands of negotiations taking place across England (and perhaps some of the other home nations, albeit for rather different reasons 😉) over the next couple of days.

Why?

Because England play Mexico at 1am on Monday morning, with the prospect of Monday's normal routines being contorted out of all recognition.

I commend any child, employee or partner who asks:

"Under what circumstances…?"

"What would I need to do…?"

"How could I make that viable…?"

The subtext, of course, is:

"I'd like to watch the game... but I'd also like to avoid the consequences on Monday morning."

Questions like these shift the conversation from whether your request should be granted to how it could be made to work. They encourage the other person to think creatively about the conditions under which they could say "yes", rather than simply deciding whether to say "no."

If you know the other person well, you could go one step further and make them a proposal.

A former colleague once recounted a story from one of his open negotiation courses. One of the delegates, a young mum, explained that her ten-year-old son had received a new bike for Christmas.

A few days later he asked if he could ride it into town.

"No," she replied. "The traffic is just too busy."

The boy thought for a while before responding:

"Mum, if you let me ride into town at 10am after the rush hour, I'll walk it home afterwards... and next time you give me Brussels sprouts, I promise to eat them without a fuss."

Genius.

Only a few days earlier, Christmas dinner had involved a battle over the consumption of Brussels sprouts. The child insisted he didn't like them. Mum countered with their nutritional value.

Whilst a ten-year-old boy didn't care much about healthy eating, he did recognise something incredibly important.

He didn't have to value Brussels sprouts himself.

He simply had to recognise that they had value to his mum.

And if something has value to the other side, it may well be tradeable.

That's negotiation.

Coming back to Monday morning, if you're hoping to watch the game but expect some resistance, go to your 'Gives' list and look for the other person's Brussels sprouts.

Perhaps it's walking the dog after the game.

Washing the car.

Getting the work report completed a day earlier than planned.

Doing the school run.

Whatever it happens to be, think about what the other side values and whether it can become part of your proposal.

Likewise, if you're on the receiving end of such a proposal, consider whether you can give people what they want on terms that are acceptable to you.

Perhaps their proposal works exactly as it stands.

Perhaps it simply needs repackaging.

Either way, the objective isn't for one side to win.

It's to find an agreement both sides can live with.

One final word of warning. Negotiating over future events has its dangers. It presupposes that the full value of the issue in question will actually be realised.

Sadly, after supporting England for more than half a century, experience suggests the return on that investment isn't always guaranteed.

Come on England!

‍