5 Everyday Phrases That Could Cost You in a Negotiation

The words we choose in a negotiation rarely feel significant in the moment. Yet seemingly harmless phrases can unintentionally weaken our position, reduce our flexibility or give away value before we've received anything in return.

Most negotiators don't lose value through poor intentions. They lose value through habits - language they've used for years without stopping to consider the message it sends.

Negotiations are rarely won or lost because of one catastrophic mistake. More often, they're shaped by dozens of small moments: a question not asked, an unnecessary concession, an opinion presented as fact - or a phrase that quietly gives away more than we intended.

The good news is that small changes can make a big difference. By becoming more deliberate about the words you choose, you can keep more options open, protect your credibility and negotiate from a position of greater strength.

Here are five everyday phrases worth thinking about before your next important negotiation.

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"No Problem"

People often ask for something that appears small or insignificant. The principle of commitment and consistency suggests that once we've agreed to one small request, we're more likely to agree to further movement later. That's why seemingly minor concessions deserve more thought than they often receive.

The mistake is to judge the concession by what it costs you. Great negotiators judge it by what it is worth to the other side. Something that costs you very little may unlock significant value for them.

Instead of agreeing immediately, become curious. Ask questions such as:

• How important is this to you?

• What difference would this make?

• If we were able to do that, what could you do in return?

These questions help establish the true value of the issue before deciding how to respond.

Practical takeaway

Every concession you make has two values:

• Its cost to you

• Its value to them

Trade on the second.

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"Impossible"

Negotiations begin with incomplete information. Early proposals are often designed to test boundaries or anchor expectations rather than represent genuine final positions.

Words such as Impossible, Never or No way can feel decisive, but they also remove your room to manoeuvre. As the conversation develops, new information may emerge that genuinely changes your assessment. Once you've declared something impossible, changing your position becomes much harder without appearing inconsistent.

Instead, explain why the proposal doesn't work today.

For example:

• That would be incredibly difficult

• Based on what we've discussed so far, I can't see how that would work

• That doesn't fit alongside the other conditions we've discussed

This leaves space for new information, creative solutions and conditional movement without damaging your credibility.

Practical takeaway

Today's impossible may become tomorrow's solution.

Leave yourself room to discover it.

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"That's Fair"

"Fairness" is one of the most common words used in negotiation - and one of the least helpful.

The problem is that fairness is subjective. Two intelligent people can look at exactly the same situation and reach completely different conclusions about what is fair. Once the discussion becomes a debate about opinions, progress often slows and deadlock becomes more likely.

Instead, build proposals around agreed facts and commercial logic.

Talk about:

• Costs

• Risks

• Market conditions

• Implementation

• Precedent

• Future value

Facts create progress. Opinions create arguments.

If the other side expresses a strong opinion about a likely outcome, consider trading against that opinion. For example, if they are confident a particular event will occur, explore whether they would accept a concession only if that outcome fails to materialise.

Practical takeaway

Commercial logic is harder to argue with than subjective fairness.

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"Around About"

Language shapes expectations.

When negotiators say:

• Around about

• In the region of

• Approximately

they often signal flexibility before the negotiation has even begun.

If your opening position is intentionally firm, avoid qualifying it unnecessarily. Every unnecessary qualifier weakens certainty and invites the other side to test whether there is movement available.

That doesn't mean you should never be flexible - it means flexibility should be a conscious negotiating decision rather than something accidentally revealed through loose language.

One of the best ways to identify these habits is to practise beforehand with a trusted colleague or use the LIVE module of the Cawdor Companion. Because every practise negotiation can be reviewed afterwards, it's often much easier to spot the words and phrases you use unconsciously than when you're negotiating in real time. Many experienced negotiators are surprised by how often they unintentionally soften positions or signal flexibility without meaning to.

Practical takeaway

Don't negotiate against your own opening.

Decide when to introduce flexibility - don't reveal it by accident.

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"As a Gesture of Goodwill..."

Many negotiators offer an unconditional concession in the hope that the other side will naturally reciprocate. They want to demonstrate goodwill, build trust or encourage a more collaborative discussion.

The problem is that reciprocity is not guaranteed.

The other side may simply conclude that if you can make one unconditional concession so easily, there are probably more available. Ironically, giving something away for nothing can increase expectations rather than appreciation.

Goodwill is important. Hope is not a negotiating strategy.

Instead, trade for everything.

That doesn't mean every trade has to be large. Sometimes what you ask for in return is simply commitment, agreement on another issue or faster progress towards a deal.

Negotiation is an exchange of value. Unconditional concessions reduce your leverage without guaranteeing any benefit in return.

Practical takeaway

Goodwill builds relationships. Trading builds agreements.

Aim for both.

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Final Thoughts

None of these phrases will lose you a negotiation on their own.

But negotiations are rarely won or lost because of one dramatic moment. More often, they are shaped by hundreds of small decisions - what we ask, what we reveal, what we concede and, perhaps most importantly, the words we choose.

Great negotiators don't simply manage proposals, prices or contracts.

They manage expectations.

They manage options.

And they manage language.

The five phrases in this guide aren't inherently wrong. In the right circumstances, each may have its place. The risk comes when we use them automatically, without considering the message they send or the options they remove.

Become more deliberate about the words you choose. Protect value before giving it away. Keep options open for as long as possible. Build proposals around facts rather than opinions. Trade rather than concede.

The best negotiators don't just choose their strategy carefully. They choose their words carefully too. That is why the best negotiators pay as much attention to how they communicate as what they communicate.

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